There was water in the streets of Venice, Italy.
In what one meteorological historian described as “the biggest climactic surprise since The Great Sahara Crop Failure,” a combination of heavy rains, high winds, and an unusually high tide put much of Venice under water yesterday. As has been historically the case when the “Queen of the Adriatic” floods, the primary culprit was the unusually high tide, which sent news services from Al Jazeera to the BBC to The New York Times scrambling to get photographers in place before the flood waters receded, having already committed to making this their lead story on an otherwise slow news day.
“Of course this has to be a lead story,” Fox News Senior Editor Tony Vita said with disdain. “Pictures are the key, and nothing makes better footage than floodwater. A good crew can make a couple of inches of water look like ‘Noah’s Ark time’. Besides, who in the world would ever have imagined something like this could happen in Venice of all places?”
“It was bedlam,” observed AP photographer Karl Toomey, who like dozens of others on his charter flight from Mumbai arrived barely in time to snap photos of tourists wading through knee-high receding waters, “but they tell me this is the biggest thing happening today.”
As gondoliers scrambled to adjust their rate signs, Toomey and others, who had been covering the skirmish in and around the Taj Mahal Hotel that has now been relegated to a position somewhere between the crossword puzzle and the ‘homes for sale’ classified ads in most newspapers, descended on St. Mark’s Square, which on a normal day would have been filled with tourists enjoying the shopping and outdoor cafes.
“This one is front page material!” Toomey declared, triumphantly displaying his photo of a lone dollop of latte cream that, while bobbing aimlessly in the water near an empty sidewalk café, narrowly avoided a disastrous collision with an empty Gucci slipper from last year’s collection. “This is what they send us here for!”
FEMA Monitoring Situation, Pledges Aid
The U.S. Federal Emergency Management Agency is “watching the developments in Venice very closely,” FEMA spokesperson Erika Lozano told Washington reporters. “The Secretary is deeply concerned not only for the safety of American citizens who may be stranded, but for all those affected by this unpredictable catastrophe.” Ms. Lozano added that the agency has already set in motion plans to send 46 trailers no longer needed by victims of Hurricane Katrina to help house victims displaced by the flooding. “Providing safe shelter for those who find themselves homeless is our first priority,” she said, adding “and thanks to Hurricane Ike, we know these puppies can float.” The trailers are expected to arrive in Italy sometime in early June.
In other news:
– Brittney Spears, Driven By Son, Appears on ‘Good Morning America’
– Tensions Flare Between Nuclear Powers India and Pakistan
– Obama Unveils National Security Team
– Thai Court Dissolves Ruling Party
– Top Indian Security Officials Resign Over Failure to Prevent Terrorist Attack
– Locusts Continue to Swarm Over World Economy
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