Newest Senators To Be Seated At ‘Kids Table’
After a whirlwind morning session on Capitol Hill, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid and Minority Leader Mitch McConnell jointly announced that a compromise agreement had been reached which would allow for both Roland Burris (D-IL) and Al Franken (D-MN) to be seated as early as tomorrow. According to McConnell, both will be seated “without prejudice”, a legal term signifying that the matter is not necessarily closed and could still be re-visited in the future should the Senate find circumstances warrant further action.
The agreement calls for a small table to be placed in the rear corner of the Democratic side of the Senate chamber where the two Junior Senators will remain seated until it is determined that the time is appropriate for either or both of them to join the full body. “We don’t know how long these legal processes may go on,” Senator Reid explained, “So we didn’t feel it would be fair on our part to ask Illinois and Minnesota to leave them at home. We felt this was the best way to accommodate everyone with the least possible distraction to the full body of the Senate.”
The Junior Senators will have, with one notable exception, the same rights and privileges as all the other Senators, including voting privileges on any matter not specifically pertaining to their being seated. “All we ask is that they not act unilaterally to address the Chamber,” according to Senator McConnell. “They may only speak to the full body when first spoken to.” The Minority Leader added, “They may, of course talk quietly among themselves so long as they are not disruptive, but we will not tolerate any roughhousing or the two of them running around like a couple of banshees. If that occurs, we will be forced to ask [Illinois Senior] Senator Durbin and/or [Minnesota Senior] Senator Klobuchar to take them home. But let me be clear, we have received assurances from all parties involved that this will not be the case.”
The agreement also allows for presumptive Senator-Elect Al Franken, in the unlikely event opponent Norm Coleman prevails in his legal battle to re-claim the Minnesota seat, to use the Chamber when the Senate is in recess to film what would be his next Hollywood feature film, ‘Stuart Saves the Senate’. “That project will only go forward if Norm Coleman were to somehow prevail,” Franken’s chief counsel Marc Elias told reporters. “In order for that to occur, he would have to beat a live opponent at least twice. For my money, I’d sooner bet on Bernie Madoff being elected Treasurer of the Palm Beach Country Club.”
In a related story, embattled-but-still Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich announced that a special election will be held on March 3rd in Illinois’ 1st Congressional District (on Chicago’s South Side) to determine who will take the place of nine-term House of Representatives member Bobby Rush, who’s head tragically exploded when he heard Senate Minority Leader McConnell utter the words ‘Roland Burris’ and ‘without prejudice’ in the same sentence.
The Desperate Blogger 